Sunday, August 28, 2011

Crappy, Crappy Weekend

This weekend was definitely not my favorite. Friday started out feeling a little off, probably because I knew what was coming later that night: the viewing for one of the sweetest men that I've ever known, a man who taught at Jordan Hills for the entire eight years that I have been there, and even longer before that. He had Lou Gehrig's Disease, but also had one of the best attitudes ever about life and the struggles that it throws at you.

Anyway, I was really distracted and not quite myself all day long on Friday. Misplaced things, didn't have assignments ready for my class of kids, etc. I was just "off." I left early from my prep time after school, because I could already tell that I was not being productive at all.

Went to my mom's to pick up my kids and asked Hayley how kindergarten was, and she proceeded to tell me that she didn't have anyone to play with at recess, and that this has been the case on more days than one. I reminded her that she needed to ask others to play too, and that everyone was still making new friends, but I couldn't help but have that nagging feeling of, "Maybe I should have put her in the neighborhood school instead of taking her to school with me... Maybe she would have been happier there... Maybe I should have chosen to teach a different track so that she would be in a class with different kids than she is now..." Anyway, I shook myself out of that pity party, and realized that this was the first time in four weeks of kindergarten that she has not been mostly positive about her day. (Okay, maybe second, but the other day it was because she had gotten scolded for not following directions, and it was totally her fault...)

Next up: a sobfest with a dear friend who I am very close to, about death and how much it sucks. I'll remind you I haven't even made it to the viewing yet.

I think part of my "off-ish-ness" is that I hate viewings and funerals. I've been lucky not to have attended too many, but man the one on Friday sucked. It was more upbeat than I expected, yet somehow that just made it worse for me. Probably because I knew that that is how C.P. would have wanted it, so it reminded me of him, and then I remembered all over again that he was no longer with us. I miss that man. I had to sit in my car for a few minutes just to calm down enough to drive home.

When I got home, Hayley told me about a birthday party in our neighborhood that she was not invited to. I explained to her that the girl it was for is quite a bit older than her, and sometimes that happens. Hayley seemed okay...

...Until the very next day it happened again. This time the party was for friends that she does play with occasionally, and many of the other neighborhood kids were invited. She found out because she went over there to ask if they could play, and then realized the party was going on right then. She came home crying and said, "Mom, I don't feel so good. I feel so sad inside." Man, so did I. I can't even tell you how much I wanted to take that pain away from my child. To take her mind off of it we went swimming, and then came home and called another friend from a different neighborhood who came over for a playdate.

In retrospect, it's probably a good thing I was busy doing something slightly less depressing Saturday morning, instead of going to the funeral. I'm pretty sure I would have spent more time crying in my bathroom with the door locked than the ten minutes I actually did.

Hayley got over it, but my heart is still hurting a little. All the crap I was dealing with I could take, but having my child be hurting and having there be not much I could do about it was just awful. I suppose this is what they mean when they say parenting actually doesn't get any easier as kids get older. I guess I should have expected that, since life in general doesn't get any easier as you get older either. It's just the same challenges in different ways, and every so often you get a curveball, just to make sure you're paying attention.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Very Important Toddler

Don't think that I forgot about this bundle o' fun.

Favorite Friend: Hayley
Favorite Toy(s): All the new birthday ones, including the Mickey Mouse Camper above, Little People Firehouse, new trucks, cars, balls, and books.
Favorite Book: Two Hippos Up on Sticks
Favorite Movie/Show: Barney
Favorite Things to do Inside: Watch Barney and play with his new toys. Preferably (to him) at the same time.
Favorite Things to Do Outside: Play in any water, including the gutter if you don't watch him carefully.
Favorite Thing about Hayley: When she sneaks him candy and treats he's not supposed to have.
Least Favorite Thing to Do: Get yelled at for running out in the street. First he'll turn and smile to see if you are serious, and then he tests you by taking step by step toward the street. Gulp.
New Things He Says: Oh man!,up, bath, stinky, soggy, ka-ka, eat, drink, juice, Hayley, Stacey, Whitney, Grandma, Mom, Dad, pat-pat, splash-splash, outside, inside, hurt (and the sign for hurt), teeth, tummy... I know that's a lot, but I'm feeling behind on my lists of what he says. :)
New Things he Does: Slide down slides, climb ladders, climb in the bath by himself, turn on the TV, take off his shoes and socks, try to put on his shoes and socks.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Very Important Person

Last week Hayley had her "VIP Day" at Kindergarten. Grandma, Grandpa, Jeremy, Jackson, and I were all able to attend.

Hayley got to tell all about herself and the things that are really important to her. Here are a few highlights:
Favorite Colors: Light pink and white
Favorite T.V. Show: iCarly
Favorite Movie: Labou
Favorite Food: Macaroni and Cheese
Favorite Treat: Pineapple "Right Side Up" Cake
Favorite Toy: her bike
Favorite Friends: Aisley and Kade (from the neighborhood) and McKenna (from school)
Places she's been: Las Vegas, Disneyland, Lake Powell, Yuba, Yellowstone

Hayley passed out fruit snacks to her classmates, and I was impressed when all of them thanked her for the treat.

It was a little bit of deja vu though when Hayley's teacher, Mrs. Hessing, started excusing tables and then making kids go back to the table to try it again when they started running. Basically I realized that when I make kids sit back down after running, teachers have been telling them the same thing for five years!

So glad that Hayley is LOVING Kindergarten! She is such a very important person indeed.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Birthday Boy

Two years ago today I gave birth to the sweetest little boy I know. Today we celebrated at the park with family and friends, and pizza and ice cream and cake. Jackson was in heaven to be playing outside.

And all the cousins had tons of fun playing while the adults hung out in the shady pavilion.

Jackson wasn't quite sure what to do with the candle on his cake...
(To avoid vertigo, you may want to start watching after the first five seconds. I was holding the camera and lighting a candle. And I forgot that my voice would be so amplified, or I may not have graced the video with my singing...)

But he knew exactly what to do with the presents!

Happy Birthday Jackson! We love you very much!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Hayley had been counting down the days until Kindergarten. Finally, today was the day. She woke up so happy and excited. She put on the (very bright) first-day-of-school outfit she had picked out the night before, kissed Dad goodbye, and climbed in the car to head to "Mom's school."

That's the part that I'd really been looking forward to, "Mom's school" becoming "Hayley's school" too.

Soon it was time to line up with her class. Hayley got a little bit nervous and clingy, but after a good hug from Mom, she was fine and headed inside with her classmates. No tears from her, or from me.

Then most of the other parents headed home, while I headed back in to school. I checked up on Hayley a couple of times, and she seemed like she was doing great. Her teacher said that Hayley's only issue was that she kept wanting to move on to the next thing quicker than the class was ready to. I guess this could go one of two ways: either Hayley has high expectations of what Kindergarten will entail, or she has a very short attention span. Either way, when I met up with Jeremy, Jackson, and Hayley for lunch and asked Hayley how her day was, she said it was "Great!" Plus she was pretty bummed when I got to go back to school after lunch and she didn't. Don't worry Hayley, there are many all-day-long school days in your future.